As an ‘ex’ competitive athlete (i.e. I played volleyball in high school) the crave for competition is astounding. Despite the vast amount of anxiety I felt as a junior and senior playing with a strange coaching dynamic, I knew I would miss playing competitively for the rest of my life. I felt such immense gratitude to be able to step out on the volleyball court and play with a good group of girls. When I got to college I not only missed the community that changes lives, but I missed having to perform at a high level. I missed working hard for people other than myself. Sometimes I really did feel the pressure in a negative way. There were days where I didn’t want to step foot into practice, where I wished I’d get injured so I would never play before. But when we were in a game setting it was all different for me. It made me mentally tough. It helped me foster SERENE STRENGTH even when I hated losing. On my especially anxious days I would let the competition eat at me. Make me question my performance and the skills I had worked tirelessly on for hours and hours at a time. But game time? That was where I had to sink or swim. I sank a lot. But, continue reading to see why I believe competition is the cure for performance anxiety
Performance anxiety is a universal experience for athletes, performers, and anyone who faces high-pressure situations. Whether you’re about to serve on game point, give a presentation, or step on stage, the weight of expectations can make even the most prepared person falter. But what if the secret to overcoming this anxiety isn’t avoiding competition, but diving headfirst into it?
Competition is not just a test of physical skill—it’s a mental battleground. It challenges you to grow, adapt, and become mentally tougher. Losing, especially when you’ve poured your heart and soul into preparation, can be painful. But those losses are the stepping stones to becoming a better athlete and a calmer, more confident person in everyday life. Click here to learn about how training until failure for life is another key to fostering SERENE STRENGTH.
Facing Your Fears Builds Mental Resilience
Performance anxiety often stems from fear: fear of failure, judgment, or letting others down. When you compete, you face those fears head-on. The game doesn’t wait for you to feel ready. It forces you to act, to perform under pressure, and to learn from the outcome.
Each time you step into a competitive arena—whether it’s a volleyball court, a track, or a boardroom—you’re teaching your brain that fear is manageable. By repeatedly putting yourself in high-stakes situations, you desensitize yourself to the pressure. Over time, what once felt overwhelming becomes familiar.
Resilience is like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Even if your team loses or you make a mistake, you’re still building mental toughness simply by showing up and giving it your all.
Losing Teaches You to Control What You Can
Nothing highlights the limits of control like a hard-fought loss. You can spend hours practicing, perfecting your skills, and strategizing, only to have things go awry on game day. Maybe an opponent was just better, or maybe you made a small mistake that cost you big. While losing stings, it teaches you a crucial life lesson: you can’t control everything. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, competition trains you to focus on what’s within your power—your preparation, your mindset, and your effort. Especially in team sports- you have to realize that the only thing you can control is yourself. Your teammates will have their own struggles, their bodies will perform at different levels, there are hundreds of factors that go into every game. Controlling your skill, emotions, and decisions in a competitive space will train you to do the same in life. The fear of things going wrong often amplifies stress. When you learn to let go of what you can’t control and zero in on what you can, you become less anxious and more grounded in any situation.
Failure Fuels Growth
It’s a cliché, but it’s true: you learn more from losing than winning. When you win, it’s easy to get complacent or overlook flaws in your game. Losing, on the other hand, forces you to take a hard look at what went wrong and how you can improve. As an athlete, every loss is an opportunity to analyze your performance, adjust your strategy, and strengthen your weaknesses. This analytical approach doesn’t just make you better at your sport—it sharpens your problem-solving skills, which are invaluable in everyday life.
For example, let’s say your team loses a game because your defense wasn’t strong enough. Instead of spiraling into self-doubt, you work on drills to improve your blocking or reaction time. The next time you compete, you’re better equipped. That same approach applies outside of sports: when you face setbacks at work, school, or in relationships, you can bounce back faster because you’re accustomed to using failure as a stepping stone.
Competition Normalizes Discomfort
Anxiety thrives in unfamiliar situations. The more you avoid discomfort, the scarier it seems. Competition, however, forces you to step outside your comfort zone repeatedly. In sports, you’re constantly navigating uncomfortable scenarios: dealing with a tough opponent, adjusting to unexpected setbacks, or managing your nerves before a big game. Over time, these experiences normalize discomfort. This ability to stay calm under pressure spills over into other areas of life. Whether you’re giving a presentation, having a difficult conversation, or trying something new, you can draw on the confidence you’ve built through competition. You know you’ve handled pressure before, and you can do it again. One of my all time favorite quotes- and my “senior quote” I listed for my yearbook senior year was:
If we’re prisoners to comfort, we judge our own sentence – Andy Mineo
We decide where we keep ourselves. We can constantly keep ourselves in comfortable settings that we know we thrive in OR we can push to new environments to thrive in new areas.
The Power of Perspective
One of the most liberating lessons competition teaches is perspective. Losing a game you worked hard for feels devastating in the moment, but over time, you realize it’s not the end of the world. You wake up the next day, go to practice, and keep working. Life goes on. This perspective is invaluable for reducing anxiety in everyday life. When you’ve experienced the highs and lows of competition, you develop a thicker skin. You stop sweating the small stuff because you’ve learned that setbacks are temporary and that success is a long-term journey. For example, if you miss a serve on game point, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt. But if you’ve lost championship games and still bounced back, you have the mental toughness to brush it off, learn from it, and try again.
Finding Joy in the Process
Finally, competition teaches you to find joy in the process, not just the outcome. When you focus solely on winning, anxiety can take over. But when you learn to appreciate the journey—the practices, the camaraderie, and the small improvements—you free yourself from the burden of perfection. This mindset shift doesn’t just make you a better athlete; it makes you a happier, more fulfilled person. Life is full of competitions, big and small. When you approach them with a mindset of growth and gratitude, anxiety loses its grip.
Embracing the Competitive Edge
Competition isn’t just about winning games; it’s about winning at life. It pushes you to face your fears, accept failure, and grow stronger because of it. Losing games you worked hard for can be painful, but it’s also the key to becoming a better athlete and a less anxious person. So the next time you feel the sting of performance anxiety, lean into the challenge. Step onto the court, give it your best, and know that whether you win or lose, you’re building mental toughness that will serve you far beyond the game.
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